Tuesday, 27 February 2018

From Russia With Love.. how to cope.. with kids.. in the cold


I had heard there was an aggressive front coming in from Russia but thought that was political jargon. Then I stepped outside. This shit got meteorological.

As charming as gardens clad in the purest of driven snow, children frolicking amongst their carrot-nosed creations and engaging in discussions about nimbostratus are : the reality is often much less enamouring. Here are my top 5 tips on how to keep sane and front up to the FREEZE with little humans clinging to your knees.

1. Stay inside. Don’t go out if you don’t have to. The faff of putting 15 layers on writhing toddlers only to de-robe for the inevitable ill-timed bowel movement is painful. Get your craft-on, make dens or put them in front of CBeebies and whip up some popcorn. Make being inside the new outside. You have all spring and summer to make the most of the unlimited resource of the great outdoors. If you venture out - make it brief and fun and have dry warm clothes laid out for your return.

2. Hot chocolate. Hope you didn’t give it up for lent. It makes everyone happy. Have a stash at home. Make a flask if you head out. Also if you're planing an adventure, try to include a cafe as part of the excursion. It will warm you all up and you can use the promise of hot chocolate or a croissant as bribery to extend their shivery sojourn. You can always ask the barista to slip some rum into the one for mum.

3. Thermals. Put the kids in thermals at bedtime. If they didn’t/don’t sweat too much of an eve - you have a base layer for the next day already furnished upon your model. The least dressing in one sitting the better.

4. Mittens. Gloves are not your friend. The drama of allocating digits to their relevant slot just brews unnecessary angst for all involved. Cold hands though - are the biggest cause of apoplectic meltdowns at this time of year. 

5. Soft hell Play. Go to soft play with trepidation or give yourself a serious pep-talk about the inevitable mass migration. It’s cold, the kids need entertaining - it will be busy and unequivocally - traumatic.

Spring is around the corner in all its warm fuzzy glory and... frankly, a proper icy blast is better than those dank dreary drizzly days, right?... Hang in there people.