Good morning

So the extent of our household conversation for the last 3 hours (it's 8.45am) has been thus:

F Burger (total words 0 decibel 460)

wahhhhheaaachhhhawwwwwww waahhhhhh wahhhhh wahhhhhh gaa gaa ha ga uhh uhh 

Me (total words 55)

twinkle twinkle, shhh, shhhh, twinkle, shhhhh, ugh, shhhhh, ok darling, lovely darling, just one postman pat, no more milk, shhh, inside voice, potty over there, GENTLE, oh lovely, thank you, boys shhh, careful, here you go, what do you say, good boy, shhh, it's ok, well done, there is no spider, wash your hands, leave that, oh

Daddy (total words 29)

Good morning (well it would be after 8 hours unbroken sleep) mummy's in H Bombs bed, cuff links, meeting at 4pm in Putney so might be back early, bye team

H Bomb (total words 368 only a selection below)

teddy, teddy, bed, milk, nee naw, nee naw, nee naw, 2,5,6,7,9,10!, mummy next door, daddy window, cool shoes, raa raa, postie pat, raahhh, weetabix, officer steale, rainy rainy (it's cloudless and 26 degrees), stuck, more milk, car, car, Peter rabbit stickers, water down the drain, spider, oh dear wallet, money, money, money in the shoe, H Bomb do it, here you go mummy, poo, poo, poo, leave it, dance.

They have just spent 4 minutes screeching at each other across the table, F Burger strained for a poo (the lactulose is still not working so this is particularly noisy and prolonged) H Bomb copied the grunts pitch perfect, they both laughed until some regurgitation occurred.

H Bomb is now dancing around the kitchen in his birthday suit aside from my salmon pink pumps stuffed with coins Swinging an umbrella.... And there is a pungent smell wafting from his brother who looks utterly delighted with himself. 

Happy Monday people