Saturday, 9 December 2017

This is not a dress rehearsal



I used to say this really quite often to myself and friends worrying disproportionately about all manner of daily irks and strifes. We can allow ‘worry’ to manifest and eat away at us when all to often there is little that standing back and reliving episodes can actually DO.  It’s the doing that makes things happen, otherwise we just need to let-go and accept. Too much worry is just a toxic waste.  

At different stages of our lives, the primary source of worry shifts and becomes blindingly and unequivocally THE most important thing in the world EVER. And so here I am again at a junction in my ‘life script’ where for weeks I have been worrying and brooding over the responsibility of raising 3 humans. I have been beating myself up for not making enough time for the kids and I feel it’s my fault. We adore having children (hence 3 in less than 4 years). We then chose to take on a building project that - to-date - has taken 9 months. The 2 combined has made for quite an overwhelming juggle. Our intentions (and the end result not doubt) are for a great home for us all to create memories and flourish as a family unit but the immediate reality is that (because we didn’t/couldn’t budget for extra help or to speed the project up) I am doing a lot of things badly - the heart of this - being a good mum. I am ashamed to say it was when one of them told me ‘you never listen’ on top of the usual ‘we want daaaaaaddy’ that it struck a cord I couldn’t just palm off. I opened the unread tabs that have been sitting in my internet browser and decided to DO something. That’s when the frenetic swarm of social media really comes into its own. You can tap into all manner of resources from under the duvet at 3 in the morning. 

So, I am going to pull my head out of the sand and address my worry because it isn’t one I can brush under the carpet (excuse the pun) until the undetermined completion on our house ‘oh it’s just a short phase’ ‘things will get easier when...’. I am going to really consciously make more time for the children at an individual level. One new ‘thing’ I have imposed is this little nugget I found trawling cyber space.. the theory is to take each childs day of the month they were born (11,28,1) and make that THEIR own special day every month. They can stay up an extra 20 minutes to do whatever they want that doesn’t involve TV/computer and at the end (oh the fromage) we take the time to say why we appreciate one another. The theory is very sweet, we will see how the reality plays out. But the crux of it is that I have finally decided to actually DO something rather than fester in guilt and wait until there is ‘more time’ because this is LIFE it is NOT A DRESS REHERSAL. 

Xx

https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/spending-one-on-one-time-with-your-kids/

Tuesday, 17 October 2017

#methree


Wow. The reaction to the Harvey Weinstein scandal has been fascinating and prodigious. Disproportionately so according to some/many. ‘Why has some Hollywood perve’s philandering eclipsed all other news for 3 days’ or ‘why did no one say anything and suddenly now they are all speaking’. This is why. 

Things.. embarrassing, humiliating, confusing, nasty, intimidating things happen to people and they would rather forget but it doesn’t mean those people weren’t wronged. There are so many reasons people (women, men, all sexualities) haven’t said anything and judging by the social media outpouring; harassment experiences have been incredibly wide ranging. It is depressingly ubiquitous but frankly none, no matter how small, none of it is acceptable. This #meetoo campaign will hopefully serve to help thwart the abundance of disgraceful egos out there in positions of authority from considering it a given right to abuse their power by intimidating those under their guidance into lewd acts (on a wide scale from a ‘cheeky’ bum grab and kiss to rape) and then leaving them so shamed and guilt-ridden that the act is firmly locked away in the recess of their subconscious. No matter how ‘minor’ or how implicated the victim feels, it is surely a good thing to air and to expose the prevalence and unacceptable nature of the authority predator, of all sexual predators. It may seem like a witch hunt but it does seem like it’s time for a societal shift. 

Peace and (nice) love people xx


Saturday, 7 October 2017

7 - 9 months



Personally this is the first time I really truly wish so much that time could stand still. Everyone has their own delights and their irks, so this won't necessarily be the magic babyhood charm to the masses but in my humble opinion .... what's not to love?? 

The little thing has been in the outside world nearly as long as it was brewing inside. As the days tick by, it somehow feels 'safer' and less physically vulnerable. Milestones seem gargantuan, it’s more than likely there will be crawling, standing, clapping, waving, eating and babbling to some extent. Developmental leaps are on steroids.

But it’s none of these that thrill me more than the sheer delight and intrigue the urchin has for the world around it. Yes, there will be blips and flips (there always are) but that little human will beam from tiny earlobe to tiny earlobe as it soaks up everything this crazy world has to offer. Capture these moments in your head and on camera. There will be serious movement and frustrations at not being able to express themselves properly just round the corner but during these 3 months there WILL be a magic window of happy babbling curious gorgeous contented babe. ENJOY! 

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Undomestic bliss


Despite what some of my rose-tinted posts may seemingly convey, things are rarely all Boden-clad infants singing kumbaya and frolicking around my ankles telling me how much they loooooove me. There is a reason phrases such as 'winging it' have become mainstream in the parenting fraternity, I can't think of a day when we don't all feel that to a certain extent. This is our household as of 5 minutes ago. I would love to say it's a very unusual apocolyptic scene and my Kath Kidston feather duster just missed one of its thrice daily workouts but truth is: this is home and has been for months. Even when we do get the Pooky lighting and tumbled limestone floor, hmm.. things really won't change much. It's carnage, but beneath the unfengsui/shabby shit - are 3 very happy little humans. They get up, they are kind, they are inquisitive,  they eat, they are healthy, they are respectful but they are also spirited and don't care too much about space planning and wanky farrow and ball paint colours. And that is what is important. I think the play room will be staying for a while and my OCD within will have to wait another decade to make its presence known.

And the mini bottle of Malbec? I know it's not cool to blag about booze when on the job but this is me trying to be good. Only I can't find any recepticles so it's a touch of class without a glass.

Cheers  xx

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

I'm back!!

....... after my longest hiatus to date, I am BACK. Bear with me for a tiny bit longer and the usual diatribes will be forthcoming. Happy autumn everyone. 




Thursday, 18 May 2017

Hoooooooooooo-gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh


Fad or no fad the Danish are onto something. They embrace living 'in the moment' as a daily mantra whilst us Brits invariably save such frivolity to high days and holidays - phone away, smell the flowers, talk and listen. Surely there is a balance that could do us all some bl00dy good. 

Most of us worldwide are now too busy, too accessible 24/7, too conscious of the rat race to stop and take stock for fear of being left behind - and that is quite sad. 

I remember 17 years ago, I found myself on a small boat off the North Island of New Zealand searching for whales. I was borrowing a snazzy, super-technical camera from my father ... it was digital and it took videos!! We spent several quiet minutes on that quaint boat in arguably one of the most naturally stunning and peaceful places in the world, looking out for movement from these gorgeous gentle giants, the atmosphere was palpable; the serenity juxtaposed by sheer anticipation of a sighting. It would have been that was if I wasn't too hung up on getting the perfect video of the long-awaited breach. Needless to say, I missed the moment in the present because I was too busy trying to capture it for the future. And what more - failed. The resulting shot was a mere splash as the giant disappeared into the deep never to return that afternoon. I so wished at the time I had just savoured the excitement and seen the beast in all its glory. 

Fast forward a decade and a half and there is soooooo much more than missing a mammal on your gap-yahhh. Gone are the days of savouring a great people-watching session whilst waiting for friends at the station (bar), a moment alone is now a moment to steal quiet and frantic scrolls through social media to see what the latest news is and what everyone else is doing... To quickly get the shopping done, check the emails and message your friend to hurry up. Expectations on us are so much higher now because we are seemingly more accountable by virtue of our constant accessibility. We do. not. stop. 

I think Hygge has become in vogue because it reminds us that we are all real at a time when we are really needing to. It provides an antithesis to the unremitting crazy whirring of the social media, digital, technical society that we are immersed in. 

My prescription to everyone is to take 10 minutes a day away from demands. 10 minutes may seem tiny but it is a start. Go for a walk. Read a book. Sit. Actually taste the food. Be it what you like, a break from work, the phone, demands - is tonic for the soul, a way of recalibrating and will make you a better person as a result. The best parts of the world are passing us by. Switch off and switch on.

That ends the preach of the day.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.


Monday, 15 May 2017

6 months


There is advice aplenty on when how and why to wean your baby in certain ways, take all the information in and just roll with whatever you feel comfortable with. Be willing to be versatile and flexible as you work out what suits the little one best. I am no authority on the subject but have found that a mixture of 'baby led' and pureed weaning has gone down an absolute treat with my 3 musketeers. 

Buy several washable bibs, be prepared for a big mess and waste of food, have a sense of fun and humour. Aside from all manner of scientific reasons a variety of weaning methods are great.... on a base level - Baby led weaning helps eliminate the frustration of painstakingly prepared dishes being catapulted and smeared all over the place whilst pureed foods enable you to ensure that they are actually eating something!

A whole half a year has passed since this little human arrived in your world. Look at the amazing little person and give yourself a MASSIVE pat on the back. No matter how unbelievably hard it is at times, you've done a bl00dy brilliant job and as the following months unveil so do some incredibly rewarding milestones. Strap yourself in, its just as bumpy only the terrain keeps changing.